Tuesday, October 27

You Thought I Was Joking?

If you keep up with me on Twitter, chances are you’ve read about my obsession penchant for Entenmann’s Golden Holiday Cupcakes.

This liking may or may not have caused me to stalk shop at multiple grocery stores until I came across my first box of the season.

Three boxes later and I’m still not done.

You heard me, I said I’ve eaten three boxes of these bad boys and have no intention of stopping anytime soon. Don’t worry, I won’t gross your out tell you how I inhale eat them in four large bites.

And if you think I’m exaggerating, a picture never lies.

I just polished two this afternoon – cupcakes not boxes! – and am about to open my fourth box tomorrow. Wish me luck. After all, I’ll need all the luck I can get if I want to fit into my pants before Thanksgiving hits.

That’s my confession. What’s yours?

Friday, October 23

The One With the Present

Laying in bed:

[Husby rolls over to face his side of bed and farts]

H.I.T.: What was that?

Husby: What?

H.I.T.: You know exactly what I’m talking about…

Husby: Just a little present.

H.I.T.: Well that present better stay on your side of the bed.

Friday, October 16

Dear Thursday

I should have realized something wasn’t quite right when the plumber called me 15 minutes before he was due to say he would be an hour late. Two hours later we’re not only replacing our water heater, but it turns out we have to buy a second one in order to heat all the water in our new house.

You only went downhill from there.

Shortly after, I made my way to a new member meeting for the young women's league I joined. But not before I knocked on the door of the wrong woman’s house. She looked at me like I had five heads before pointing me in the right direction.

When I finally arrived, I was promptly put to work cooking pasta and cutting vegetables. The plan was to cook dinner for the local shelter.

I was immediately chastised for cutting the broccoli stems too short.

Apparently I am too “young” to remember the days when people ate the entire piece of broccoli. Well I guess those “young women” in the league are also older than my mom, who also doesn’t remember those days…

Thanks, Mom!

When my pasta was ready, I politely called out that I needed the sink. All parties moved aside and I lifted the lobster pot brimming with boiling water to the sink.

All parties but one.

Someone thought it would be smart to continue her work in the space I would need as well. Being as polite as possible, I tried pouring the water around her since saying, “Hey lady, can’t you see I’m about to pour out some hot water here?!” doesn’t really work in this situation.

Instead, it ended up on the front of my pants.

Talk about painful. Lesson learned - it takes, “OK, now I have hot water down my pants,” before said party finally moves out of your way.

Rather than help the injured person, these women proceeded to ignore the situation that just unfolded.* I guess when you’re so busy caring about the welfare of the needy in the community, you sometimes forget about the welfare of those around you.

Silly me.

After 15 minutes of cleaning up the mess I made (alone) while ignoring the searing pain in my legs, I high tailed it out of Stepford zombie land.

Another new member bites the dust.

Luckily, I only suffered first degree burns. Unluckily, I might be nursing some nasty wounds in some very sensitive areas.

Foolishly, I thought you would be finished after that, Dear Thursday.

Then you started raining, and dare I say, snowing. My niece told me she hated me, but then consoled my hurt legs with two pictures. Crisis averted. And just when I thought the drama was done for the evening, you went and took things up a notch.

The organizer of the morning’s event called to see how I was doing. I began thinking maybe these zombie women really are nice.

You sure had me fooled, Thursday!

It wasn't long before she mentioned the fateful words "to make sure you aren't suing," that I realized the true intent of her phone call. Ah, the naive newcomer.

So there you have it, Thursday. You managed to dash all hopes of my new community in one clean swoop.

Luckily, Friday is here to save you.

This morning, the swelling on my legs has gone down and we were just comped for some overpriced personal envelopes from Cartier that are now being sent to our new home. Looks like things aren’t so bad, after all.

Now if only you’ll teach me how to rid the world of those zombie Stepfords…

*One person did ask if I was OK a few times, but at this point I was so shocked by the surrounding women's behavior that I just told her I was fine so I could get out of there quicker.

Image from here.

Tuesday, October 13

The One With the Burps

In the car:

H.I.T.: You don't need a new iPhone! Your old one works perfectly fine.

Husby [burps.]

H.I.T. [burps back.]

Husby [burps louder.]

H.I.T. [begins swallowing air.]

Husby: Let's see what you got...

H.I.T. [burps]

Husby: That was gross. You're my wife. You aren't supposed to make sounds like that.

H.I.T.: I guess I win. No new iPhone.

Wednesday, October 7

Because What Type Of Sister Would I Be...

If I didn't give a shout out to my sister's Etsy shop, Pumpkin & Sweet Pea, here at NYC Housewife-In-Training. She's in tough competition for my number one fan (closely following Husby and my Mom) and has stood by my side in fun times (eclipse!) and sad ones.

Looking for an uber preppy toddler belt that's not ridiculously overpriced? Any of these should do the trick...

Or maybe the newest addition to your family needs a snuggly pair of boots to keep their tootsies nice and toasty warm this fall/winter without spending $30 on something they'll grow out of in a two months? Available in custom sizes from 0-12 months are...

I'm hoping she brings back the absolutely ADORABLE tweed jackets she had up last year. They were to-die-for precious and sold out the first day. If you're interested, I'll keep everyone posted on Twitter when she puts new items up for sale.

In other news, I'm in new homeowner hell. I promise not to bore you with the details just yet. Looking forward to catching up on blog reading this Friday!

Thursday, October 1

Paint. Paint. Paint.

You know what I love?

Waking up at 3:45 in the morning and thinking about paint colors for the next hour and a half.

Husby would like to have the entire house painted before we move, so paint has pretty much taken over my life these days. We have bedrooms, hallways, the kitchen, dining, living and family rooms, bathrooms and let’s not forget the office. Those are a lot of rooms, but more importantly, a ton of paint colors.

How is one to choose what color goes where? Will all the colors look good together? What if Husby hates what I pick? Let’s be honest, we don’t really care about that last one but it’s the thought that counts…

Luckily an old colleague of mine mentioned that their client Valspar might be able to help. And help they did.

Ann McGuire, Valspar color consultant, gave me some amazing advice:

- When painting a whole house, focus on one overall look rather than each room. By taking an overall direction you create harmony from room to room.

- Merging his and her styles is tough. Individually, group colors into three categories – ones you can’t stand, ones you can live with and ones you absolutely love. See where the overlap is and build from there.

- Painting is simple with the right know-how. A few helpful suggestions:

  • Good lighting is key – you want to be able to spot imperfections and streaks.

  • When taping off trim and edges, use a credit card to burnish the edges and create a good seal with blue painters tape.

  • Use a high hiding primer to paint a light color over a dark color. Use a tintable primer to paint a dark color over a light color.

  • Cut in with a 3” brush. I keep a bucket of water handy to dip the brush into, which helps keep the paint flowing. I also have an old cake pan on-hand to gently wipe excess paint off the brush before putting it on the wall.

  • When cleaning up, I sometimes use hair conditioner on natural brushes to protect the bristles from drying out.

And now I am so excited because I finally have all the samples picked out for the whole house. Go me!

Want to win a room color makeover? Visit Valspar and follow the rules for entry. Contest ends October 16th.

Picture from here.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...